Healing Technique: Radical Accountability Theory (RAT)

Radical Accountability Theory is a theory of my own creation that I've been using for the past 7 years with a very high level of success. The theory is a synthesis of three other psychological theories which are all widely regarded as effective therapy theories namely Differentiation, Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), and Eye-Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR).

Differentiation is a theory on emotional maturity and how to develop it. In essence, the theory states that the problems that we have in life are a result of our personal lack of emotional maturity, not the lack of emotional maturity of others. This is a sentiment shared throughout religion including Christianity and Buddhism and nearly all famous philosophers who emphasized the ultimate virtue as the mastery of self. The idea is based on the book Intimacy and Desire by David Schnarch, my all-time favorite book, which is summarized here. This is the foundational principle of RAT as taking accountability beyond its traditional scope of influence in our society brings with it the opportunity to heal. Radical accountability is the idea that any and all things that disturb your peace is a you problem. While at first this may seem intimidating, delusional, or downright stupid, I have found it to be true. It's the lack of taking accountability for our own emotional reactions that makes us obsessively attempt to control the world around us or, as Schnarch says, "people who can't control themselves control the people around them." Scott Peck, a psychiatrist who wrote the famous book The Road Less Traveled, described evil more or less as one part 1) the lack of taking responsibility for oneself in order to avoid personal suffering and one part 2) laziness. This idea will make more sense with the explanation of the next foundational theory, REBT.

Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.

Jesus

It is our own thoughts that lead us into trouble, not other people.

Buddha

No man is free who is not master of himself.

Epictetus

Through discipline comes freedom.

Aristotle

The most intelligent men, like the strongest, find their happiness where others would find only disaster: in the labyrinth… their delight is in self-mastery… They regard a difficult task as a privilege; it is to them a recreation to play with burdens that would crush all others.

Nietzsche

REBT is a theory very closely related to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), arguably the most popular and effective talk-therapy technique in the world (CBT), that postulates that our beliefs create our reality and views healing in terms of changing unhealthy psychological beliefs. The theory uses an ABCDE formula to explain itself. A stands for Activating Event, which is whatever the event is that triggers a reaction. In REBT the event is always inherently neutral, no matter how good or bad it may seem. What determines whether the event is good or bad is B, our Belief about it. As a result of our belief we interpret the event a particular way and have a Consequence, C, which is our reaction to the event whether it be emotional, cognitive, or behavioral. As events are always inherently neutral, we, as agents of our own volition, get to choose our beliefs about them. D stands for Disputing which is challenging and changing our current belief. The successful changing of a belief results in E, Effectuating Change, which is the new set of emotional, cognitive, and behavioral reactions to the exact same event as a result of a changed belief. Taking accountability for one's beliefs allows for them to be changed resulting in increased stability and personal peace.

For example, a person who is terrified of being cheated on based on past experiences may see threats that don't exist such as believing that their faithful partner getting home from work late or not checking in constantly means that they are cheating on them. Their incorrect belief won't change reality, but it does change the lens through which every event is filtered. Seeing the world through a distorted lens only results in problems for all effected parties.

The theory focuses on what are called "core negative beliefs" which you can easily google to find lists of them, but they are, on the most basic level, our emotional fears. As the human brain values emotions on a hierarchical level far, far above that of logic, it doesn't matter what you think, this process is always focused on how you feel. Emotions are king when it comes to psychology and even knowing something logically doesn't impact an emotional belief. Identifying emotional beliefs is the trickiest aspect of this whole process and I recommend reading Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: A Therapist's Guide by Albert Ellis to understand this process better.

The last element of the theory is the principle of processing behind EMDR's success called bilateral stimulation. Bilateral stimulation is activating the left and right hemispheres of the brain in an alternating and repetitive pattern. This can be achieved by sight, touch, or sound simply by alternating the stimulus between the left and right sides of the body. For sight, moving one's eyes back and forth horizontally, for touch, tapping one's thighs, toes, or arms in an alternating pattern (left, right, left, right), and for sound, alternating sounds in the ears which can be found by googling "EMDR sounds" or "bilateral stimulation sounds." We don't exactly know how or why bilateral stimulation helps the brain process information, we just know that it does.

Taking these all into account, Radical Accountability Theory is a theory of healing centered around identifying and changing any belief system that results in distress with the aid of bilateral stimulation.

The Process

Structurally the process is able to be done at one of three levels of insight. The deeper the level of insight, the more potential gain from using this method although working through distress at any level is worth doing.

1. Beliefs - Beliefs are the deepest level of self awareness and result in the largest long-term gains. "I am not enough," "I am unloveable," and "I am worthless" are the most common examples of this level of insight. Beliefs can be about oneself or the world at large.

2. Ideas or Concepts - Knowing the general thing that creates distress for you is enough to start this process. "Being called a bitch" or "my dad's death" are examples of this level of insight.

3. Emotions - Any emotion is a good enough starting point. If you have a distressing emotion, but have no idea what it's stemming from, you can just focus on the distressing emotion e.i. anger, anxiety, sadness, etc. as your focus.

Once you have a targeted issue/ focusing point, one of the three levels of insight listed above, you rate your level of distress from it on a Subjective Units of Distress (SUDs) scale of 0-10 with 10 being the most distress you can feel. This scale is used to measure change and progress. The first goal is to get to 0 on the distress scale, with a 0 meaning that you can leave the past in the past, feeling neutral towards something, or being at peace with the targeted issue. The second goal is to replace the negative belief or emotion. Examples include "I am enough," "I am leaving this in the past," or "peace" depending on what level of insight you're using (belief, concept, emotion). Continue bilateral stimulation until you feel at a 10/10 on a scale of how strongly you feel the positive statement or emotion.

Working through something using this method can be done in one of three different ways and you can mix and match as you see fit. This is what you do while you engage in bilateral stimulation.

1. The Subconscious Method - This method is based on the theory that your brain automatically knows how to heal itself psychologically just as it does physically with a cut. In this method you engage in free association, letting whatever come to mind, assuming that your brain will bring up what it needs to, for as long as it needs to, in order for you to heal. I think of this method kind of like riding a rollercoaster, you strap in and just enjoy the ride. You know this method is working if you are getting images, memories, or other mental stimulus. The overall rule is if something is happening, the process is working, even if you don't understand what is happening. It isn't working if the mental stimulus is completely and objectively unrelated, such as thinking about what you will make for dinner tonight, or if your mind is completely blank. This method has the greatest variance of experience by a large margin so my rule of thumb is when in doubt of if something is relevant, keep going until you are absolutely sure it isn't.

2. The Conscious Method - This method deals with using logic to change emotional beliefs. As emotions are stronger than logic the process starts with understanding your emotional reaction and then using logic to break it down until it is no longer believed at an emotional level. If the logic you are trying to use isn't creating emotional change, time to try a different plan of attack. This method is the most difficult of the three, but it can be highly effective when used well. This method is working if the emotional belief is lessening. It isn't working if the belief isn't changing or the distress isn't lessening. The SUDs scale can be used as an intervention technique in this method by asking yourself how you can lower one point on the scale which can help you gain insight into how to make additional progress. Here are four other methods that REBT uses to change beliefs:

   1. Logical Disputing - Logical disputing is using logic to challenge the idea that A=B. For example, a black cat (A) is bad luck (B) or assuming that someone not responding to your text message (A) means that they are mad at you (B). In either case you have made a false conclusion. Additional examples of this include deciding that someone treating you as worthless means that you are, or that someone calling you stupid means that you are, or any variety of other influences where you eventually decided erroneously that A=B.

   2. Empirical Disputing - Empirical disputing is examining factual evidence against the belief you are attempting to change. This can be personal evidence or evidence from other people you have met in your life or heard about. For example, believing you are unloveable yet being able to say that people in your life have told you they love you means that your belief is incorrect or seeing a friend go from couch surfing to owning their own successful company shows yourself that future success isn't determined by current status, hence your life isn't hopeless.

   3. Pragmatic Disputing - Pragmatic disputing is analyzing the impact of holding on to a specific belief. Is holding on to this belief worth it? What is the impact of holding on to this belief both on yourself and on those around you? The more negative impacts you can consciously recognize, the more motivated you will be to change the belief.

   4. Socratic Disputing - Socratic disputing is asking questions about the belief. Any question that will help you understand your belief at a deeper level is Socratic disputing. Questions like "when did this belief start?" or "what would I say to a loved one with this belief?" or "what would help me change this belief?" are all examples of Socratic disputing.

3. Body Sensations - The body stores emotions physically and you can use your body to release trapped emotions. When thinking of the targeted issue, just notice where your body feels distressed. This method is very simple and all you do is focus your attention on the distressed body part as the feeling increases in intensity, decreases in intensity, or shifts throughout your body. This method looks for physical shifts and movement in the body which is how you know it's working. Other things you can try with this method are consciously relaxing the parts of the body that are distressed, imagining a color of light helping or aiding the release of the trapped emotion, or any creative idea you can come up with. This method works if physiological changes are occurring and is not working if nothing is changing in your body. Sometimes it takes a long time for body sensations to shift so patience in this method is sometimes necessary.

If a method isn't working there are a couple things you can do. For the subconscious method the most common thing to do is to restart your thought process at the original belief. If you think about the belief as a tree trunk and the various parts of your life that influenced the belief as branches of the tree, sometimes when you reach the end of a branch you have to restart at the trunk in order to process the next branch. For the conscious method you need to ask different questions. The questions you ask greatly influence your own progress so change up your questions if your current questions don't create movement. Body sensations generally always works as long as you can identify something physiologically. If any method isn't working as you'd like, another option is to switch to a different method. I will typically use the conscious method until I get stuck, switch to body sensations to get me past whatever emotional or mental block I encountered, then resume the conscious method. Mix and match to see what works best for you.

Identifying Beliefs

You cannot change a problem that you are unaware of. Thus, the ability to accurately identify beliefs dictates this methods efficacy.

You can identify a belief in several ways.

1. Google Core Negative Beliefs - As mentioned earlier, googling a list of negative core beliefs will yield lists of potential beliefs that you can sort through. To identify a belief that applies to you, you can simply look at them and see which feels true, or you can pay attention to how your body reacts to any given belief. If your body reacts to a belief, you believe it at some level. A belief that isn't true has no impact psychologically or physiologically. The disadvantage to doing it this way is that there are an infinite amount of possible beliefs and some may be unique to you. While this shortcut may work initially, it won't work for everything and you will have to learn to identify beliefs on you own.

2. Monitor Your Thoughts - Your thoughts are a very easy way to identify your beliefs. If you consistently tell yourself that you're stupid, that is a negative core belief. Likewise, if you routinely find yourself judging others, that is projection. We judge other people the same way we judge ourselves allowing you to identify your beliefs about yourself by analyzing how you judge others. Anything that you tell yourself or find yourself thinking about others, reflects your beliefs at a subconscious level, good or bad.

3. Monitor Your Reactions - Any negative emotional reaction you have, to literally anything, is a reflection of a belief. If you say that you are self-confident, but react defensively when somebody corrects you, then you aren't as self-confident as you think. Reactivity and defensiveness are simple indicators of a negative core belief. Likewise, the body holds a wealth of information about your subconscious. If your body reacts to something, that means some negative core belief is being triggered. Body awareness is perhaps the best way to gain self awareness.

4. Identify The Fear - Behind any negative reaction there is fear. Approaching problems through the lens of fears is extremely helpful in identifying beliefs. A simple technique to help identify a fear is to ask yourself "if that were true, why would that bother me?" For example, take a person who has social anxiety and gets anxious when they think about the possibility of someone not liking them. The question then becomes, "if an acquaintance I'm talking to doesn't like me, why would it bother me?" Or "what do I fear will happen if they don't like me?" Always turn this question inward as it's never about another person, it's always about you.

Many core negative beliefs start with "I am," "I can't," or "I don't." "I am a failure," "I am a bad person," "I can't do anything right," "I can't deal with difficult emotions," "I don't deserve good things," and "I don't matter" are all examples of beliefs that use this format. Not all beliefs will use this format, but it can be a helpful format if you're struggling to word the belief.

If you can't name the belief, don't get stuck on it, just start working through whatever is going on at the level of awareness that you have.

Key Considerations

There are a few things I feel are worth mentioning that will help in this process.

1. Just Start - The most important thing by far is just to start trying to work through something. A deeper level of insight is helpful, but not necessary. Often in the process you will gain a greater degree of awareness. If you've incorrectly labeled a belief as the cause of your distress, you will correct yourself at some point in the process. Don't let perfectionism or doubt get in the way of attempting to heal yourself.

2. Wording Matters A Lot - Our word choices are a reflection of our subconscious and the subconscious is very literal. Small word changes in the phrasing of a belief can have completely distinct reactions. For example "I am worthy" and "I can be worthy" may seem the same but one is a statement of fact and one of possibility. "I am worthy" and "I can be worthy" are very different statements with different levels of associated healing.

3. Beliefs Are Compartmentalized - Similar beliefs are not necessarily the same beliefs. "I have no worth" and "I am worthless" may seem like they would address the same thing, but they might not. If you have worked through a belief, but the distress remains, more than likely you have not worked through similar, but not synonymous, belief systems. This is why getting good at identifying beliefs is the trickiest part of this whole process. The best way to check is to name beliefs you feel are synonymous and check to see if they are true for you or create distress for you. This process requires a lot of educated guesses and analysis of whether it healed what you hoped it would. If it didn't take care of the problem, try a different belief.

4. Positive Beliefs Are Positively Phrased - Phrase positive belief in terms of what you want, not in terms of what you don't want. "I don't want to care what others think" is a worse version of "my opinion of myself is what matters." Phrasing things in terms of what you want rather than what you don't want has been scientifically validated to be more effective as a means of changing oneself.

5. Keep Feelings Out of Beliefs - The idea in this theory is the beliefs create emotions. As such, feelings are generally kept out of belief systems as much as possible. Instead of "I'm scared of being abandoned," using statements of fact like "I will be abandoned" is more accurate to why you experience the emotion in the first place. If you didn't subconsciously and implicitly assume that you will be abandoned, that fear wouldn't exist. Beliefs are often assumptions about the future typically based on the past. Either way, I generally keep emotions out of belief statements because emotions are a product of beliefs (at least in this theory).

6. Focus on You, Not Others - Focus exclusively on yourself, not on others. The moment you start to try and figure out why this person treated you the way that they did, or wonder if they will ever feel bad for what they did, or any other focus on another person, you've most likely halted your progress. This process is about you and releasing what you are holding on to, it has nothing to do with anyone else. Focus on your emotional response and changing it and let other people take responsibility for their own shit.

7. Focus on Emotions, Not Behaviors - Emotions create behaviors. The fastest and most effective way to create lasting change is to change how you emotionally feel towards something. If you find yourself thinking of behaviors you can start doing to help yourself believe something different, not to say that it can't work, but you have missed the point. What you have started to do is create a checklist of things that need to be done in order for you feel okay. As long as there is a checklist, your emotional stability can readily be taken away. For example, if your belief is "I'm lazy" and your solution to not feeling lazy is working out every day, you have effectively stated that "you are not lazy if..." and the moment you stop working out daily, you immediately feel like you're lazy again. The most effective healing originates from beliefs with no conditions attached to them. If you believe that you cannot objectively change your belief without changing something external, think again.

8. Don't Settle - For the distressing thing, always get yourself to a 0 on the distress scale, no exceptions. Getting to a 0 means that you have fully moved past it psychologically. Getting to a 0 is not being happy that something happened to you, being okay with it, or anything in between. Being at a 0 means that you are no longer going to be defined by it and can be at peace with your past. Anything other than a 0 means something remains. The same applies to the positive belief and getting to a 10/10. A 9 on the scale may seem good enough, but the emotional difference between a 9 and a 10 is quite large. Leaving room for a belief not to be true, even a little bit, means that you are signing up for future distress.

9. Use Projection To Your Advantage - Projection is best summed up by the statement, we judge others the way we judge ourselves. If you find yourself getting annoyed at people you think are dumb, the chances that you are very fearful of being dumb is incredibly high. We take what is internal and project it on to the outside world. Using this knowledge is incredibly important to understanding oneself and becoming aware of internal beliefs. If you are not at peace don't blame other people, look inward to see how you're projecting your own lack of healing.

10. Follow Your Intuition - Much of what I've learned has come from trying things I thought might work. Everyone is different and that shows more in individual psychology and healing than potentially anywhere else. I've seen many things work for other people that I never would've thought of. Try what you think will help, even if it may seem odd, and you may be pleasantly surprised.