Codependency

This post is meant to be a supplement to my post on differentiation. The concepts of differentiation and codependency are the exact same thing just called different terms. Codependency is created by low levels of differentiation and is the same thing as a reflected sense of self. Check out that post if you want more information on codependency.

This post is solely going to list off indicators of codependency I found when I decided to research the topic extensively based on research and books on the subject. Use it to inform yourself of your own codependency. Then read about differentiation.

Emotional Expression

• Worrying about others' opinion of you

• Fear of abandonment, rejection, or criticism

• Feeling trapped in a relationship

• Struggling to express your emotions to others

• Feeling on edge or expecting the worst in your relationships

• Relying on your partner for your emotional stability

• Difficulty trusting or are overly trusting

• Low self-esteem

• Intimacy issues - Need for closeness/ fear of rejection

• Putting up walls or being too vulnerable

• Chronic anger about any relationship

• Hyper vigilance in relationships

• Depression related to a relationship (or the perceptions of others)

• Anxiety related to a relationship (or the perceptions of others)

Behaviors

• Extensive people pleasing behaviors with partner or others

• Putting others needs ahead of your own most of the time

• Controlling behaviors and neediness

• Trying to control others with guilt, threats, or manipulation

• Not being able to tolerate the idea of a relationship ending

• High reactivity (to anything)

• Poor relational boundaries

Thoughts

• Compulsions

• Personalization (attributing blame to yourself and who you are when there is little to no justification for doing so)

• Obsessing about the relationship

• Being critical of your partner

Here's a link to my post on differentiation. Tie it all together.